The Boss

Dear Applicant,

For purposes of this conversation, RantWoman is The Boss. RantWoman acknowledges that the particular job posting RantWoman is advertising is a modest opportunity fraught with terribly interesting personalities and freighted with considerably less than vast financial remuneration. However, RantWoman is The Boss and if you want to land within that small circle of people we are going to talk further too, RantWoman strongly recommends you adopt the following practices.

Please just SEND US A RESUME AND COVER LETTER. Your web link is not enough. A chatty email is not enough, particularly when it is not strongly on-topic for what the posting asks for.

RantWoman considers a resume and cover letter in their own file(s) to be the rock bottom minimum needed for further consideration. Grammatical well-crafted items that respond to the posting make RantWoman swoon. Even more modest efforts also draw favorable notice: simply naming the files with your name will go a long way toward warming RantWoman's boss-bitch heart.

(RantWoman takes note of this on her own behalf. RantWoman tends to name her resume submissions after something to do with the place she is submitting the resume. After an exciting evening of foaming at the mouth about everyone else's mistakes, RantWoman sees undeniable merit in adjusting her own approach as well!)

Please do not tell us anything that would allow RantWoman's poorly disciplined prejudices to kick you out of consideration. These points may include religion, excessive involvement with certain categories of employment, or the fact that you have absolutely no topical experience and are causing RantWoman to wonder whether you possess sufficient literacy skills to handle the job's minimal requirements.

It is not really RantWoman's problem that you want to try out the topic of this posting as a break from your regular activity before going off to get an MBA/ JD / PhD / DDS / MDiv / PdQ/ DoA/ DoG or any other title in the fall. Nor is your mid-life crisis. Nor is all that vast experience unrelated to the posting. RantWoman's concern is making the rest of the team and our crowd of eccentric customers happy without having to expend lots and lots of money for ultra-specific high-end gear.

Do not let this tirade completely derail your application. If you have received our form email inviting you to please get serious and submit a real application, please get on the ball and do it. RantWoman's generous mood about this topic has a very short half-life!

Thank you very much for your interest in our position.

Sincerely,

RantWoman