Watching Paint Dry

Today's RantWoman exercise in being gracious about sincere but misguided offers of help relates to a neighbor who has volunteered to read sometimes for RantWoman. Neighbor offered to read, but pronounced most of what RantWoman wanted to read "like watching paint dry." More on RantWoman's actual taste shortly. First, a word about, cough, e-cigarettes.

Reading Neighbor and RantWoman have compatible tastes in food and frequently arrange mutual contribution meals followed by much laughter, finger licks from the Queen of Spades for Reading Neighbor, and other moments of neighborliness. Last night such as on the agenda: lentil soup from RantWoman's larder, frozen pot stickers steamed in chicken broth and garnished with cilantro, and then ice cream to go with rantWoman peanut butter cookies. We pronounced it a feast!

Reading Neighbor has recently resumed his (ahem!) DISGUSTING nicotine habit, only now he smokes e-cigarettes, SUPPOSEDLY undetectible to others. He asked RantWoman's permission to bring over his smoking equipment. RantWoman was amenable on a trial basis. RantWoman is all for adults making adult decisions about addictive substances. RantWoman and Reading Neighbor are both definitely adults. And the verdict? Three words: SECOND HAND SMOKE!

To be fair, there was nothing RantWoman could SEE and maybe the only reason RantWoman could tell was because Reading Neighbor was smoking menthols, but there just is no way not to exhale. RantWoman definitely felt like she could get hooked just from whatever is left in the exhalation. Yuck! Apparently the Queen of Spades agrees: before the return of the nicotine, The Queen of Spades utterly charmed Reading Neighbor with her affections, but last night she barely wanted to go near. The ONLY thing that rantWoman thinks has changed is the nicotine!

As a teen RantWoman knew a musical instrument repairman whose first wife died of lung cancer. The instrument repair shop was hung with several sarcastic posters about "Smoking is very Glamorous" and "Smoking is very Debonair." RantWoman supposes one could add one about how "Smoking makes all pets adore you," perhaps with a picture of the hind end of a cat with her tail in the air.

But back to "watching paint dry." RantWoman wanted to read or a tleast skim:

--the alumni newsletter from her graduate alma mater.

--the alumni magazine from her undergraduate alma mater.

--a professional association newsletter.

--a major computer industry magazine.

RantWoman is pretty much an intellectual omnivore. Left to her own devices, or with unlimited time, a functional internet connection, and patience, RantWoman would easily and happily read all of these. RantWoman means a separate post about one theme, but the biggest thing RantWoman was able to take away was a wisecrack in her graduate alumni newsletter. A famous professor moved as a very young professor, conincidentally during rantWoman's natal year, from the place where RantWoman went to graduate school to what would later become RantWoman's undergraduate alma mater. One of the famous professor's faculty colleagues wrote a letter to one of his peers referring to RantWoman's undergraduate alma mater as "some college in New Jersey." Who says watching paint dry has to be dull?