We are all transgendered now

RantWoman has discovered a very modest budget way to collide with cultures most people go a LONG time without thinking very much about: the life of the transgendered, intersex, or "gender queer."RantWoman has spent all weekend adding pronoun gender preference to her standard workshop go-around intro and elevator speech and choosing between conventional and "gender neutral" restrooms.

First the pronoun gender preference concern:
RantWoman is a she / her person and contented to be so. RantWoman has spent enough time around linguistic feminists sometimes to use they / their / them to avoid the generic male. This usage in contexts where the number is clearly singular would fry her late grammarian RantFather's nerves, though RantWoman hears the usage often enough from others to entertain the idea that, in the march of linguistic evolution, quibbling about use of plural forms when the referent is singular may be sort of "last century."

Still, RantWoman is further called to tread cautiously when it comes to idiosyncratic use of plural forms: RantWoman has a very, very good friend who uses plural forms in reference to her selves, the several of her that add up to the label multiple personality disorder. RantWoman's friend is far enough along in meeting the several of her that she would likely object to the term "disorder," even though she may be stuck with it as true to others' experience of the situation.

RantWoman was interested to hear, as she has previously actually that zie and hir are also used to avoid specifying or presuming any specific gender. At this point, interpreter brain was going to kick in. For one thing, RantWoman was at an event where interpretation to and from Spanish was available if needed; in practice people tended toward monolingual clumps anyway and RantWoman decided to take a holiday as far as thinking about the topic in any other language besides English. This also freed up RantWoman brain space for more meditations about gender neutral restrooms.

Gender neutral restrooms, for the uninitiated are a nod to people who identify as transgendered, that is generally they feel their true gender is not the one reflected by their body. RantWoman invites her readers to put any of the terms in the first paragraph into the search engine of their choice for all manner of opinion and emotion, background and back story. The point is that the peculiar forced intimacy of public restrooms is frequently a zone where transgendered people experience discrimination, hostility, and violence.

RantWoman can in fact cite a situation she heard about: teen from Seattle who identifies as transgender went to visit cousin in MT. Teen wanted to use restroom consistent with the gender he identified. Other local teenagers refused to use the restroom while the visiting teen was inside. RantWoman concedes this is one way to avoid violence and harassment but RantWoman wishes the solution had come with more articulate appreciation of the challenges faced by the visiting teen.

In gender neutral bathrooms, it is even less appropriate than average to make assumptions about a person's gender, gender presentation, or numbers of other points people frequently make assumptions about.

However, the restroom is also a place where people feel cautious and vulnerable and all sorts of views come spewing out. Gender neutral bathrooms are of course the same bathrooms provided by building codes and modern architectural and restroom usage practices: if RantWoman were looking for a reason to change her gender, the opportunity to use men's restrooms would NOT leap to the top of her list. In fact, RantWoman very occasionally for some good reason has used men's restrooms. Every single time, RantWoman finds herself wondering why guys put up with the amenities and (cough!) cleanliness typically offered. In any case, at the event RantWoman just attended, the only difference between regular and gender neutral restrooms is that signs have been stuck on the doors of he restrooms designated gender-neutral to allow the squeamish to choose other alternatives. These signs tend not to be ADA compliant. Signs or no signs, a time or two RantWoman has wandered into men's rooms by mistake; Ambassador Thwack the badly behaved white cane is generally quite helpful in easing everyone's embarrassment.

At the event RantWoman just returned from, RantWoman just opted to use whichever restroom was closest as long as it was not specifically a men's room. RantWoman finds herself grateful that she found only restrooms which in regular operation are women's restrooms. One of the members of RantWoman's group, the most vocally and colorfully queer member of the group had a different experience and had quite colorful things to say about someone he identified as a woman using a urinal.

RantWoman lives in Seattle. RantWoman knows several people who are transgendered. RantWoman does not necessarily know these people well, but in a few cases still knows more than she necessarily think she needs to know. However maybe that is the point. RantWoman's flamingly queer travelling companion is challenged about transgender issues. RantWoman is challenged about transgender issues. RantWoman knows other people, even people very engaged and supportive who are challenged about transgender issues. Maybe that is exactly the reason for everyone at a gathering of community organizers to have to decide about pronoun gender preference and gender neutral restrooms.

Okay, maybe that's the point, but RantWoman is still glad to be home!

For further reading:
http://petersontoscano.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/becoming-one-flesh-at-transfaith-in-color-conference/


http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.com/2011/03/radical-love-radical-inclusion-and.html


http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2011/01/community-teas-about-rape-and-violence.html