How not to panhandle for birthday presents on Facebook.

RantWoman sends all her Facebook friends warm brithday congratulations as reminded. RantWoman would enjoy being able to send you all actual presents.

Peculiarly, Despite RantWoman's inability to reciprocate, RantWoman would be very tempted to solicit birhtday presents for her upcoming birthday. RantWoman alas finds herself thanking Facebook for complete lack of temptation to try to panhandle her friends based on the selection of things RantWoman needs, a desire for people to be able to pool resources, and the gift options presented by Facebook.

RantWoman needs:
--a new hat, to keep rain and glare out and brain cells in RantWoman really needs to take her large head to her favorite hat store, Byrnie Utz hats, match hat to head in person, and plunk down some medium of exchange to make her purchase. RantWoman needs to go there in person, so as far as RantWoman is concerned, it is perfectly fine that Byrnie Utz has no online presence RantWoman can find of its own. Byrnie Utz accepts major credit cards or cash which theoretically could be sufficient except that RantWoman could find no option on Facebook for giving someone a gift card with a major credit card imprint. Price $50-75 for something durable and weather worthy

--new shoes, probably one pair  of dress shoes or sandals and one pair of walking shoes. Again, RantWoman has best results when she takes her feet to the store and matches feet to shoes; even then, visits may be required to more than one location depending on LOTS of variables. So even if RantWoman were to mention specific stores or brands, RantWoman would only want to panhandle for some kind of national brand like Mastercard or Visa.
   RantWoman NEEDS to walk a lot. RantWoman gets best results when she spends $120/$150 a pair and does not buy a lot of shoes.

--new clothes: RantWoman has pretty good luck doing mail order from her favorite mail order options.  RantWoman finds it annoying to be barraged on Facebook from some of these places and then not to have any options on Facebook for her gift list. RantWoman knows that some of her mail order options have wish lists but RantWoman is reticent about sharing wishes with her internet groupies.
  Not only does RantWoman not care necessarily to share her preferences with Facebook, RantWoman also has many friends of modest means. RantWoman would MUCH rather her friends all be able to chip in to get her something she cares about than have them flail around or waste money on something that will clutter up RantWoman's house and even potentially make her grumpy.  
  RantWoman understands that this view is at odds with etiquette advice about part of the gift is the thought and effort of the person selecting the gift. And RantWoman does not care! RantWoman is truly grateful if people think to give her gifts but RantWoman would rather people send her silly pictures or links to stupid cat videos than to waste money on things RantWoman dislikes but feels obligated to express gratitude for.

--a new laptop. RantWoman needs more RAM than average and is picky about various other details. Most importantly, RantWoman really needs to lay fingers to keyboard and test whether the keyboard is sufficiently tactile for RantWoman's taste. So no mail order. RantWoman has seen computers on display at Staples so that's a maybe, but again, RantWoman really likes having more choices. Plus, RantWoman thinks the gift card size suggestions for Staples are too big for some of her Friends unless they pool their resources ahead of the purchase. Not that RantWoman necessarily cares about Facebook marketing imperatives, but can anyone guess what FB misses out on in that case? RantWoman is guessing she can get what she needs for about $700 and probably prefers to reward merchants for having the retail space even if the laptop winds up costing A LITTLE more than mail order.

--new accessibility software to make the new computer functional for RantWoman Price $1200 or so. Lather rinse repeat about Mastercard or Visa.

RantWoman does NOT need:
--perfume and cologne. These make her sneeze

--all that goopy sugary glop marketed for birthdays.

How about please
  --some birthday granola
  --a selection of teas, salts, sugars, mustards or other specialty condiments for people with discerning palettes.
  --a subscription to a CSA except RantWoman does not care about telling Facebook about it.
  --Gift card options from the many grocery ad options

Now, desires specified. If only getting to clarity about project and income streams for the rest of RantWoman's life were this easy.