Sunday, July 12, 2015

Map like a pirate but exercise too!

TRIGGER WARNING: graphic discussion of various kinds of injuries. It's FINE to click away if excessive frankness about the topic does not seem like fun today. Or scroll down fast to a kind of fun easy exercise video at the bottom.

Recently at Folklife, someone RantWoman knows was performing and somehow the subject of pirates came up. Pirates are frequently depicted as missing hands, arms, legs, eyes, and sometimes more than one of the above.

RantWoman never really thought about it before, but she has to assume that the missing body parts illustrate the depressing medical care options available at the time. If it gets hurt and infected just hack it off. As far as eyes, one of the hazards of hanging around lots of blind people is that one can accumulate LOTS of stories about things that happen with eyes. This is fine if one needs to be grateful to have only one's own problems but it definitely also relieves one of much desire to go on in lurid detail about why pirates might be missing eyes.

At this point, RantWoman's flibberty gibbet mind hopped from priates to brands, coffee cups, maps, and particularly a recent RantWoman hand selfie map: Map like a pirate but at least no body parts  have gone missing!

Recently RantWoman found herself gazing at her map photograph, meditating about pirate imagery and a certain coffee brand. Then...then RantWoman looked again. Yes, there is a scar. Compared to missing limbs, it's kind of pirate lite, but it's a scar. And...

The Scar is in a location where it would be easy to assume... In fact, pirate lite or no, the scar is a "My doctor got paid to do that to me" remnant of heroic pirate interactions between RantWoman, a crumbly sidewalk and gravity! RantWoman appreciate a skilled surgeon, thoughtful physical therapy regimen and nearly full recovery, except...

Only at the RantWoman psychic amusement park though is it possible to go from hacked off limbs to My Doctor Got Paid to do that to me scar overlays on a coffee / tea cup map to an exercise video put out by the American diabetes Association. Well okay, the video INTENDS to help prevent diabetes from stealing limbs and mobility. The video aims to encourage exercise.

RantWoman actually really LIKES the video except for two grumbles:

--RantWoman finds it a little intimidating to exercise with the help of someone who looks like she has never eaten an excess calorie or felt any twinges of arthritis or other unspecified pains, the kinds of vexations that sometimes mean one needs to modify exercises.

--One exercise toward the end of the video seems particularly challenging since actually both of RantWoman's wrists have acquired doctor-installed hardware due to unfavorable interactions with sidewalks and the built environment.

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