Thursday, July 9, 2015

True Crime and Unholiness

Look. If RantWoman were the model of equanimity and grace she SOMETIMES aspires to be, she would simply say some prayers, post this with her life of faith rambles on her other blog, and try to Get on with Life. This, however, is RantWoman and  Hell hath NO FURY like a pissed off liberal!

Dear Cretinous Miscreant...

scratch that.

Dear Child of God sunk lower than pond scum and now in need of a sound spanking

Aren't you ashamed of yourself????

Stealing from the BLIND! Well the legally blind, but still...

Stealing off the grounds of a house of worship????

RantWoman was part of a meeting on some picnic tables outside her house of worship, some picnic tables put there specifically because the SHARE group who sleeps on our floor sometimes needs places to eat when it is not convenient for us to offer anything indoors.

Anyway, the meeting was over and RantWoman left one of her bags under a table long enough to go upstairs, use the restroom, panic realizing she had left a bag downstairs, and zoom back downstairs. In that time SOMEONE grabbed RantWoman's bag. It was Nowhere to be found. RantWoman has looked. RantWoman has asked people with better eyes to look and it is GONE. And its disappearance has been duly reported!

Here's what RantWoman wants to say:


RantWoman is going nuts without her calendar.

There is a handmade cloth doll that matters a lot to RantWoman. If you hang around that doll too long, you will find yourself interrupted regularly by comments that are not quite off track but definitely not on track either. RantWoman is thinking you already are not thinking clearly and you probably DO NOT NEED anything else to addle your wits.

There are some socks that might make your feet fall off if you try to wear them without washing them.

There is a braille stylus which if used incorrectly could probably put your eye out.

And if you DARE try to use any of the other information RantWoman is frantic about to attempt to steal RantWoman's identity, RantWoman hopes every whiff of DRAMA ever to swirl anywhere near RantWoman sticks to you like glue and gums up your life worse than trying to wade around in maple syrup. This means "it's complicated" relationship soap opera, weird financial decision making, family substance abuse and mental health tales of woe, up to and including the sort of international evildoers about whom several years ago a US Attorney General held a press conference. Do you REALLY want to buy yourself any more of that than you probably already have????

So just PUT THE BAG BACK along with everything in it!

Find yourself a faith community. Figure your shit out!

Peace and love, or the best RantWoman can do about peace and love today.


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