Do not let the initial save date on this post fool you. RantWoman is as adept about holiday procrastination as she is about every other form of procrastination. RantWoman is spending her New Year's Day at last savoring holiday high points. Well, first, RantWoman is going to have to work harder on training her family about her taste in Christmas gifts.
Practical gifts are a longstanding tradition in the RantFamily; so are effusive expressions of gratitude even for peculiar missteps that wind up under the tree. If RantWoman's grandparents would bestow for example a sweater or a book of the grandparents' choosing instead of whatever was on RantWoman's mind, RantWoman was still expected to pen a thank-you letter.
All the better if RantWoman's nascent logorrhea could also go on for a page or two of chatter about school and the new year and the family cat or or practicing the piano or a future visit with grandparents. Still better if, when writing RantWoman's also vision-challenged grandfather she would use a Flair pen so he could read her letters.
RantWoman will refrain from catty comments about whether World's most Irrepressible Nephew has so much as poked out grateful text messages to his grandmother in appreciation of his holiday haul. RantWoman is giving herself the option later of coaching The Boy in this process.
RantWoman, alas, has some of her grandparents' younger siblings on her holiday card list but no actual grandparents anymore. Nor has RantWoman parlayed this apistolary approach into, say, a profitable career in public relations. Instead, RantWoman wants to speak of the black fleece vest from RantMom! RantWoman actually really likes the vest. It fits great. RantWoman suspects she will wear it at many different times of the year. There is just one problem. It is black. Basic Black. All Black. With only one place RantWoman can even attach something dangly and reflective, though it does have the kind of excellent pockets where RantWoman has been known to stash reflective velcro pants clips from her neighborhood bicycle store.
RantWoman realizes there are fundamental conceptual contradictions between "basic black" and reflective enough to be seen at night and to keep RantWoman from getting run over. RantWoman is debating about whether she is going to sew on some reflector tape from Seattle Fabrics . RantWoman is also debating about whether she should just be extravagantly grateful to RantMom, whether she should mention her actual preferences, or whether she might eschew her own needle threader and just ask RantMom to help sew on the desired reflectivity enhancements. Decisions, Decisions.
If RantWoman were really, really determined to ensure herself a steady supply of dayglow high reflectivity clothing, RantWoman supposes she dcould look for professions where such clothing is standard issue. The first one consonant with RantWoman's skills and life experience that leaps to mind is, drum roll please, fishing boat interpreter, and that one has a high probability of involving far too much cold weather even for RantWoman.
If RantWoman had had the foresight to communicate her desires in advance of the holidays, one thing RantWoman really wants is reflective gloves. RantWoman tends to favor really simple lightweight grip enhanced gardening gloves. RantWoman's outerwear pockets tend to include such specimens in light colors with festive flowers or perky patterns. RantWoman would SO like it if say the back of the hand had big bright reflectivity spots on them. Instead RantWoman again repairs to the bicycle store or to safety supply sites such as the below. This does not mean RantWoman has yet intersected with high reflectivity gloves she actually likes.
http://www.abcsafetyglasses.com/regl.html
http://walking.about.com/cs/lights/gr/gloglov.htm
As an aside, RantWoman is also still smiling about the box of band-aids that wound up in her Christmas stocking. RantMom had originally bought the band-aids for herself. They wound up in RantWoman's Christmas stocking because they are, ta-da!, labelled in Braille! RantWoman is a bit of a Braille philistine. RantWoman has no idea what the dots 4-6 at the beginning of the brand name are about and is too much of a holiday slug to go look it up. Nevertheless, between the band-aids labelled in Braille and a spiffy fresh tube of hand sanitizer, RantWoman is heartily giving RantMom credit for getting RantWoman's disaster preparedness themes. Now about RantMom applying them to her own household?
On a lexicographic note, the alert reader will note that the word post has at least two senses in this post.
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