Unplugged!!!!!

RantWoman UNPLUGGED?????

RantWoman WHINING with a screen reader, a real tactile keyboard, plenty of desktop applications, even some actual already resident on the laptop content, and a number of tasks doable in this environment that demand attention???

RantWoman on sneakernet, developing content that will involve a USB device and footstep delivery to actual connectivity????

RantWoman with NONE of her preferred ways of interacting with the internet, the cloud, the vast information superhighway, at least until it is respectably close to regular hours for the Friendly Neighborhood Center for Extreme Computing and RantWoman decides it’s reasonable to open early???

 

RantWoman with no incoming twitter except what is permitted all the way to the not very smart phone? Assuming WiFi AND a charged battery, the Android device would deliver buckets of incoming Twitter, but outgoing Twitter is more of a conundrum: how to activate the online keyboard? How at last to figure out the still not usable external keyboard. Plus wifi and a charged battery are not to be assumed just now anyway, so forget about the keyboard issues.

 RantWoman’s new DSL modem BETTER arrive on time tomorrow.

RantWoman’s not very smart phone got plugged in early this morning instead of last night. It had better soak up enough charge to make it through the day before RantWoman needs to leave the house.

RantWoman EVEN hopes her new Android tablet will also soak up enough charge to get toted to the proximity of WiFi. RantWoman recognizes that all of these seemingly simple technological desires tip her over into the realm of the really demanding. Tough.

 

In fact, RantWoman has an even longer list of wants TOO; tune in another day!

 

Sunday morning RantWoman was reading email on her laptop before heading out for her day. RantWoman heard the customary warning that “a network cable is unplugged” about the time she needed to quit anyway. Only upon returning home and settling in for a desired email fix did RantWoman realize that the DSL modem had NO lights. It not only had no lights, it continued to have no lights even after RantWoman did what phone support calls “power cycling” and RantWoman knows more simply as unplugging the power supply, waiting a few minutes and plugging it back in. Okay, ix-nay on email from the laptop. There is always the tablet….

 

First, look, it’s an old modem. The last time RantWoman  had to replace her hard drive and reinstall drivers from the phone company, the legal boilerplate with the driver had warm sentimental language something like “Dear customer, your hardware is a relic. We are grandfathering you in about a bunch of issues, but really, could you please consider crawling out of the Stone Age?” So with all the lights on the old modem resolutely black, it’s time for RantWoman to crawl out of the Stone Age.

 

(RantWoman has a stack of offers from neighborhood cable company. RantWoman needs mobile and does not care about television. So RantWoman has mot worked very hard to see whether some kind of package would be competitive. Sigh.)

 

Thank heavens for RantWoman’s land line and reasonably timely helpful voices from Customer Service. No, RantWoman cannot really work up enthusiasm for Direct TV right now. This was even before Little Sister weighed in about too many shopping channels, cartoons Irrepressible nephew no longer cares about, teen and tween content that displeases parents, and a whole bunch of pay per view / premium content it’s a pain to take out of menus—if one can see, and we won’t even talk about RantWoman!

Look, RantWoman would really like a Smartphone. RantWoman does not care about Direct TV but would be thrilled if a data plan for a Smartphone could substitute for Direct TV in a service bundle. Oops. That cannot happen right now, but the modem should include WiFi for all RantWoman’s WiFi devices. Okay, a new modem it is.

 

Meawhile, RantWoman’s spiffy incrementally accessible WiFi only Android tablet better soak up a charge before RantWoman needs to leave the house this afternoon. RantWoman had been making it work for lots of things on her home WiFi. When the home WiFi went poof along with the DSL modem, RantWoman downgraded to creeping over to a bench outside a nearby location with WiFi and skulking in front of wonderful sarcastic videos about the news of the day.

RantWoman must have mistaken the “battery low” warning beep for the beep indicating arriving email. Halfway through one of the sarcastic videos, the tablet did its screen goes black and shuts down entirely, and demanded that RantWoman immediately tote it back to its feeding system.

 

Is all this the limit of RantWoman’s device-induced distress? Alas, no. Again, RantWoman hopes the phone will absorb enough charge for the day.  It is also time to replace RantWoman’s not very smart phone. Phone battery runs out sooner than RantWoman would like. RantWoman has received gentle suggestions about replacements / upgrades from provider. RantWoman admits to device envy and is happy to think about replacements anyway.

Still, RantWoman is fond of this phone. It has nice tactile buttons. RantWoman has the right 3 neurons line up in her eyes to be able to read the larger of the two print options. RantWoman got this phone by telling the salesman she did not care about a camera, she just wanted the biggest, simplest granny phone available. RantWoman likes that her phone as voice activated even though RantWoman never uses the voice activation options. In fact, RantWoman got a phone that RantMOM envies. RantMom’s old phone had a camera, a QWERTY keyboard, tiny font that could not be enlarged, and a bunch of other features that RantWoman could almost use, by accident, without knowing any better, to mow the lawn. RantMom got her phone with Little Sister’s “help.” This help did not include time to help RantMom experiment / figure out features. Nor did it include cheerleading Mom to ask for help at a Verizon booth because the sales people are getting paid to provide service to RantMom. But now RantMom is looking for iPhone instruction and RantWoman is wishing all such devices came with a giant hard to miss app that says FOR HELP PRESS HERE on every single screen with help appropriate to the context.

 

But enough weirdo RantWoman fantasies for one day. Back to work, work that IS doable in this environment, really, if RantWoman would just focus…

 

Oh wait! RantWoman could tweet out about #metrofuture. RantWoman would REALLY, REALLY like to call the legislature back into session to give Western WA counties authority to tax ourselves for our transit needs. RantWoman would like to tweet about this with the right #hashtags and RantWoman has no idea what these would be.

 

Plus, RantWoman would call the lege back into session. RantMom suggests if the lege cannot get its work done, they should have to keep meeting without per diem. RantWoman is even worse: RantWoman would fine them. Maybe it is just as well RantWoman is technologically indisposed for the moment!