Tech "support" from the cat

The Queen of Spades has been “helping” with tech support again. By “help” RantWoman means

--While in search of all forms of warmth, camping on the modem and ensuring that RantWoman's DSL modem has plenty of opportunity to get filled with cat hair.

--Somehow managing to unplug everything except the power cord from the back of the modem. Everything. The yellow cord from the computer to the modem. The gray cord from the phone to the modem. The green cord from the modem to the wall.

Plugging the yellow cord back in is hard to screw up. The plugs only fit in specific jacks.

RantWoman however is versatile and inadvertently plugged the green and gray cords into each other’s jacks on the back of the modem.

Sigh.

As a result, the modem had one fewer light than it was supposed to, and one of the lights it had was red instead of white. At this point RantWoan knows a series of incantations and unpluggings that are supposed to restore her access to the internet, but they did not work.

RantWoman called tech support. Let's see:

--As usual, exhortations to try looking things up on the website, a suggestion RantWoman finds hysterical when her problem is that she cannot get onto the internet or not on the device RantWoman finds easiest for reading.

--NEW promo info touting Beloved Telecomm provider’s 1 GB/Sec speed “now deployed” and to great fanfare as RanWoman has observed but not reachable for RantWoman.

--A cheery recording that, the first couple times RantWoman called, kept telling her that her estimated wait time was longer than 3 minutes. RantWoman hung up and called back later.

When RanttWoman called back and finally got into the automated interaction queue, RantWoman got another charming round of one of her favorite messages, something like “your account information is confidential and protected by law. Please advise us if you do NOT want us to use it to repair your service. This will have no effect on the offers and services we provide.” Does this seeming non sequitur baffle anyone besides RantWoman?

RantWoman made it through all the automated routing and talked to a human. The human VERY patiently asked RantWoman to check her cords.

Ohhhhh!

User Error.

Ohhhhh!

Good

Now RantWoman can return to her current set of beefs.

--RantWoman was expecting to have a prorated bill for being without ervice for far longer than promised way back in August.

--RantWoman specifically saved chat conversations promising this but RantWoman cannot find the relevant chat conversation in her email archive.

--Somehow RantWoman is signed up for a plan that tacks an additional 60 % onto her baseline service for taxes. RantWoman thinks that is outrageous but every time she talks to billing, she gets more comical stories AND more run-around: RantWOman is paying amonhtly fee for her modem. Umm no, that should have been paid off a long time ago. RantWoman needs to call some other number that has only a dial option not a chat. And so on and so on….

All RantWoman wants for Christmas is

Faster speed and WAY less ridiculous customer service…..

And so far Santa has showed up in the form of VERY polite help with RantWoman's user error. If RantWoman is a REALLY good girl....